Update went to Re!

So i went to the RE(baby making dr) and they did an ultrasound of my ovaries and uterus. Everything is normal. I'm currently 10DPO and waiting to test and find out if we caught the egg this month. I might test today but i'm trying to hold out till tomorrow LOL. Don't think i can though. Anyway if i'm not pregnant this month then i have to go back to the dr and have some test done to make sure i don't have fibroids. I have a great feeling that i'm indeed pregnant this month. I have tender BB's and feeling sick in the morning. Getting tired more at night and eating more than the norm. I'm just praying that i'm pregnant.

Chris got his orders finally and he is going to school for 6 months and i have to stay here in shitty Washington! Oh well i guess life goes on, after hes done with school we will get our bonus and most likely move to Point Loma, CA. I'll be sure to write about it when i find out. Well thats it for today!

Hes almost home!!

The husband that is LOL, only a few more days now and he will be home and in my arms! I can't wait i'm so excited to have him back home! I really could use a break from the kids. Being a single mommy when he is away isn't the funnest! Good thing is he will come home early enough in my cycle to actually try for a baby this month! WOOHOO! I didn't go to the Dr. on the 27th, i remade the appt for Dec 1st, I really wanted Chris to be able to be there with me. I feel like this is something that we need to do together! Alot has happened since I last wrote as well. My friend had her baby, that was a happy day but sad at the same time. I felt overjoyed for her but at the same time sad because i should have been able to give birth just a few months before her. Oh well i guess thats life.

Oh other news the navy screwed us over again!! But whats new with with that! We were told that he had to cross rate to re enlist, which was fine but that was only if he didn't make E-5. We were told that if he made E-5 then he would be able to re enlist in rate! Which i was excited about because i know how much Chris didn't want to change jobs. Well some douche bag said lets put in the paper work to see if you get accepted to one of the new jobs you picked. He told Chris that even though he was putting the papers in he would still be able to re enlist in rate if he made E-5. So Chris thought what the hell better to get it all outta the way. Well that was lie #1, once the dude did the paperwork it pretty much made it where Chris has to crossrate to stay in the navy! Well here comes lie #2, they told him all the Mineman bases were in Ca, with just a couple in VA. Well they are all in Texas, so we will no longer be going to Ca, Texas here we come. Which i'm not excited about at all! Its so not fare, we never get anything we want in life, like other people i know do. Its so frustrating to see everyone else around me living there perfect little lives and always getting what they want, and here we are decent people that just want a few things and can't even get it, like a baby and orders to CA! I'm so over everything right now!

Blue Bloods....

Are great books! I finished reading the first two awhile back and now i'm waiting to order at the end of the month the third book! I'm so excited for the next book in the series to come out! I also cannot wait for the last twilight saga book to come out, even though its the first book just from Edwards perspective, I'm still super excited about it! AHHHH and the movie is coming out soon, i can't wait to see that as well. Chris will be home by then and i'm going to have him take me for my last anniversary present! I can't freaking wait.

So Chris finally got his paper back(PTS) he can re-enlist but not in rate! Blah, so he picked two different things he would want to do and those two things are mineman and Equipment Operator which is a Seabee rate! We are still waiting to hear if he made E-5 we should find that out the end of November beginning of December! If he makes E-5 then he can just re-enlist in the same job hes in now. So stupid how things work sometimes. I can't freaking wait for him to come home, its so frustrating to go through everything here without him sometimes, and difficult as well.

Isis went on her very first fiend trip today with her preschool! It was so much fun, she had a blast! So did Athena they let me take her! They went to the pumpkin patch and through a corn maze they had made for all the little kids. It was neat, to see how the girls were so into everything around them. They got to feed sheep and goats, oh and chickens too! We saw piglets and bunny rabbits. Finally after all that they got to walk out into the patch and pick a pumpkin! Its was so cool because they were still on the vine and you had to pick them.

So the 27th is approaching fast and I have my appt to find out the plan of how to keep me pregnant. I'm excited but scared, nervous, and i just want things to go great and not get stuck with some asshole army Dr. November 1st marks the 1 year point we have been trying to have a baby! I can't believe its been a year! Doesn't seem like its went by that fast! Be sure to read my next blog since it will be about my appt!

So much has happened........

Why can't life just be easy for once, i mean i never really do anything to people i semi mind my own business and try and stay out of the drama but that doesn't seem to happen with me. So over the last month my husband has left for a little out to sea work up thing for 2 months. Two of my very best friend told me they pretty much hate me cause i'm a shit talking bitch! Even though i never remember saying anything so bad about them that it would cause them to not want to be my friend. But oh well i'm over their drama and shit. They wanna say i'm drama but they are they ones who are drama!

So Chris and I are still trying for baby#3, hes gone now so were on a break but we will be doing the IUI in December and i'm so excited! I have my appt this month on the 27th to get the plan going. I can't beleive that this year is almost up. On November 1st it will be a year since Chris and I started trying for another baby, we have had some ups and downs and times we stopped but all together its a year. Isis started preschool i can't believe how big shes getting and so smart! Its amazing how fast they grow up, shes already almost 3 1/2. My little Athena is just getting bigger and bigger everyday too. Shes potty trained now, she will even take a nap without a diaper! I can't believe it either, just seems like yesterday she was born and now shes 2 already!

Back to TTC!

Well between last blog and now Chris and I have worked things out good enough to decide to start trying this month for baby #3. I'm excited to see what the month brings and to see if i will actually get pregnant! I'm praying I do. I got my wisdom teeth taken out and man was that so not fun! The pain was bad but the percocet really did me in LOL. I felt like i was floating half the time i was taking them. I actually thought i was pregnant last month but since i didn't know i went ahead and got them taken out. I ended up not being pregnant and AF come on full force, being one day late. Oh well hopefully this month i'll get that beautiful BFP! If I do not get pregnant this month then we will be doing the IUI that we had planned on doing in July in December now. Chris is leaving soon so we have to put off TTC for 2 months. Which I'm not to happy about but hey what can i do thats the navy for ya. Next week he goes in for his SA(sperm count and check) so hopefully we get good news back on that which i'm sure we will. I just never thought that trying to get pregnant would be such a hard task. We didn't try with the girls they just happened but it seemed so easy. Then when we started actually trying i got pregnant right away the first 2 months, but as you all know those ended in losses. I thought for sure i would be pregnant again already! Well like they say i guess everything happens for a reason. I'm approching my Sept EDD, and its going to be tough i'm sure. I'm already having feelings of depression and just being plain sad because like in August i should be getting ready to give birth to a beautiful healthy baby! I guess that wasn't lifes plan for me though. So anyway wish us luck this month that we get our sticky bean without having to do IUI and all that crap!

10 Days!! I'm Scared

In 10 days i'll be having my wisdom teeth removed! Can we say scared! OH YEAH! I've never been put under before so thats something new and scary. I'm glad i will be knocked out though because i have dentistphobia lol, i hate the dentist for some weird reason. So thankful i'm not pregnant right now because if i were i wouldn't be able to get them taken out and boy do i need to. I've been puting it off for years now and finally the time has come!!

Things between Chris and I are still a little weird! Its kinda like were friends i guess, we are doing good just don't have that physcial relationship anymore. I'm sure it will be fixed over time, but my main thing with no sex is i DO NOT wanna get pregnant so i figure if we don't do it at all until after i O then i know for sure i won't get pregnant. Anyway We decided to start trying again in December, i want to go home in October and go out and drink and have some fun! So hopefully in December i'll get pregnant and be holding a baby come next September! I can't believe the girls will be 4 and 3 then! Talk about spaced out! I bet it will be eaiser though with the two older ones. Isis will be in preschool and Athena too so hopfully during the day it will be just baby and I. Anyway i'm rambling now!

Its been a little bit.......

So its been awhile since i wrote, at least it seems like awhile lol. This last month has went by super fast! I can't believe that in a month my baby will be 2 OMG!!! Where has the time gone. Anyway things between Chris and I are a little better, i still feel the same way and we have a up days and our down days. I want to try and make it work then another part of me doesn't. I'm still really confused on what i want to do. I really just wanna get out of Washington and move back to good ol Cali! I hate it here and i think thats playing into my unhappiness. Why can't life just be easy sometimes. On top of all of our problems we've been having we are now having money issues! The one thing i cannot stand fighting about because most of the money issues are because of Chris. I'm so glad that we are not trying to have another baby right now, because as of now we cannot afford it. Hopefully when we move and get all settled in San Diego hopefully, we will start getting back on track with everything. I told him yesterday that i wanted to just leave and get out of this crap, that i was totally unhappy with the way our lives were going and that i think it would be better if i moved back home to Ca with my mom till i can get on my feet. He actually told me i was fucking immature and i needed to grow up and not tell him i didn't wanna be with him anymore! WTF!! I can tell you my feelings if i want and just because it isn't what you want to hear doesn't make me immature! So thats whats new with my whole situation!

My TTC Journey is over!

Which really isn't a bad thing in my eyes. Chris and I are having some problems and we decided to just go ahead and not do the IUI or try at all to have another baby until we can see if our problems can be worked out. I went home to visit for 6 weeks and while i was there i relized that i didn't want another baby right now because i want to be able to go out and have fun and have some drinks if i want too, plus when i was home i fell out of love with my husband so we are trying to work things out the best we can. I'm planning another trip home in October so that should be fun. My appt, was today for my IUI consult i was going to go but i think my husband forgot about it, because i was going to ask what there plan was and how long we can put it off but i guess i just got fucked outta that lol. I will be sure to keep you all updated as to when we are going to try again, might be 2 months or it might be a year!

HSG Update!

Well I'm glad to say that I finally got over my fears and got the HSG done today! I'm so glad thats behind us now and we can go onto the next step! The HSG wasn't bad at all! I was actually suprised that it went so smooth. I was so scared going in there thinking how painful it was going to be that i just wanted to walk out and not do it. They got me all ready and on the table, she did the normal thing they do for paps lol, and then she put the tiny cathater into my cervix after washing it with iodine. I didn't even feel it, this was the part i freaked out about the most and it was painless! Then the radiologist came in and set up the thing that takes the pictures. She put the dye in which was cool to see go through my uterus and tubes, and it really only took like 10 minutes from start to finish. They told me the results and everything is perfect! So now we get to move onto IUI in July!! I'm so excited, i actually have hope again that i will get one more healthy baby. If the IUI doesn't get done in July then August for sure. We will still try in July and hope we can get pregnant without help but if we don't then IUI here we come! I can't wait to start writing about are IUI journey, its been a tough TTC Journey for us but i finally have hope again and that is the best feeling in the world!

Dr's New Plan

So I went to the Dr on last Thursday and she did my normal cervical cancer check, i have to get those one a year since i almost had it when i was pregnant with Athena. Anyway she finished and asked what the plan was to keep me pregnant. I told her i couldn't remember what she had said. So she goes and gets my chart and comes back in and say i need to have the HSG (Hysterosalpingogram) so i tell her okay and i made my appt for that, and i go in on the 6th at 1:00. I'm scare about it but oh well i'm sure i will be just fine. She goes on to tell me that if the HSG is normal she will refer me to a RE at the Army Hospital, and start the process of IUI (Intrauterine insemination) i'm so excited that we are getting this done. I just pray it my step to getting a healthy baby on last time. We will be doing this in July 2008 after Chris gets back from being out to sea. I will be posting about the process and how everything goes. As for now since hes gone we will be on a 2 month TTC break so thank god cause i needed it lol.

The dreaded 2WW

Well i'm so excited to say that i'm finally in the 2ww(two week wait). I started using the progestrone today, so i hope and pray that it helps me get my sticky bean! I'm having great feelings right now about this month. Its going to be hard to tell if i'm having pregnancy symptoms or if its just the progestrone i'm taking. I'm sure it will be just fine. My dr only gave me a one month supply so if i get pregnant i'm going to have to make sure that i get more. I'll be going to CA in May and i do not want to run out, while i'm there. My parents will be here Saturday which i'm so excited about too!

Starting to feel good about thing......

I'm finally starting to feel good about this month. I'm actually about to ovulate and Chris is home so hopefully we make a baby this month! My parents will be her Saturday so i'm really excited about that. I haven't seen them since december. My brother and I got into a huge fight yesterday and we are no longer talking. Hes trying to get his girlfriend pregnant and he doesn't even have a job and he can't support himself let alone a baby. I went off on him and we haven't talked since. I really don't care though he hasn't been the same since he met his fat bitch girlfriend. I'm excited because in less then a month i go to CA!! WOOHOO. I get to see everyone again and the kids get to spend almost 2 months with there grandparents, they are going to love that. I'm just worried about how things are going to go with my brother while I'm there, If he treats my kids like shit because hes mad at me let just say things won't be good! Well thats about it!

This month isn't feeling so good!

Well we are still TTC, this is the last month before we take a break since Chris is leaving soon. I just don't have good feelings about this month. My temps are hardly even going up, which isn't normal for me. I don't want to take my progestrone incase i haven't ovulated yet, i don't want to mess anything up. I'm so at a loss with this. I really want to give up. I never thought it would be so hard to have another baby. We didn't even try for the girls, they just happened. Now we are trying and i can't stay pregnant and now i'm not getting pregnant. BLAH!!

On another note, the girls are getting so big! I can't belive how fast time goes by. Athena goes to the dr today for her 18 month appt, even though shes 19 months. I hate how sometimes they have no appts. Anyway Isis is pottied trained now and she talks all the time. We can never shut that kid up lol. Athena is talking a lot too, its just so cute! I'm so excited to see how much Athena weighs and how long she is. Its been awhile since shes been to the dr so i can't wait to know how shes growing.

2 Losses and 5 months later.......

After two losses one in December, after my negitive test then i got a positive and lost the baby on December 12th, 2007. We tried right away again and got pregnant! I was so excited to find out i was pregnant again. I had great feelings about the pregnancy but at 6 weeks 1 day, i started spotting which turned into bad bleeding and cramping. I was at the ER when this happened, then there i started passing tissue and lost the baby on January 21, 2008. Its been 5 months now since we started trying, we have gotten pregnant twice but only to have those babies taken away from us. This is our last month trying before a two month break since my husband will be out to sea. We are praying that this month we get our sticky bean! We also had all the testing done to see if there is anything wrong with me as to why i couldn't carry the two babies. Everything was normal. I do have to take progestrone supplments because my levels are low. I will be sure to keep writing on my journey to have baby #3!